What am I doing here?

"What am I doing here?"
These few days I really asked myself this question over and over again.
In the view of management, I am not a good sup. According to them, I am not desicive and dont know how to play around with man power. That is a painful but true comment but I need nine months to prove it out. So stupid! Ah......
When I looked up to the ceiling, even the light bulb was replaced with the help of my housmate (as i am biologically not tall enough)... suddenly feel really shame of myself as I am so hopeless here...
Tomorrow should be better... even "Gone with the Wind" said so... I should follow the wisdom of the last generation. But I dont think I sleep tonight...