black out...

One week before my trip to UK, my left eye started to have occasional black out. Maybe because it was too tried or something. It happened too fast that before you felt scared, it had already went back to normal. From getting once to twice per day then it happened every 3-4 hours. I still couldnt feel the urgency of going to see Dr. Finally the two days before my trip... i surrendered because other than black out... I started to have the problem of seeing 3D vision (when you use both eyes at the same time, things are in 3D images. But if otherwise, you can only see 2D.)
I called my Dr and made a booking. He moved?! And that happened a year ago!! I am really not a good patience.
It was raining in the afternoon. I took a bus to him and in the bus I could feel the rain hit the top of the bus. It really matched my mood. I was thinking, if the DR tell me I would be blind soon, what my reaction should be? Eyes wide then cry loud? Or ask him if it is still safe for me to take a plane? Then I should quite my job and spend my rest of my life to travel around and see the thing I want to see? O... If I am going to be blind, there would be alot of things to do... to plan. Then i sighed...
I was the first patience in the afternoon section. This new office was big. The DR still had two nurses. But there is one whom I was not familar with. The long hair nurse should have retired ba... A full check up required 1hr preparation. Wo... last time was two hours! In this hour, you couldnt see things clearly. Some people chose to go out and have a walk but for my own safety I stayed there. I wandered around and read his notice board. "XXX new technology for blind", "The reason of causing XXX and the related treatment." Just like the soap opera in the TV - if it is a love drama, the story is only about love, if it is a cop drama, the story is only about crime. Haha.... I was in a optical clinic, sure everything here is about vision and blind. I read all the notice and information on the board. Just get my self prepared if any professional name in the board would be used by the Dr.
I was his patience when I was in early secondary school. He was just a young dr at that time. You could really feel the "freshness" from the university. And when i met him this time, he looked like an early 50 uncle. We both aged.
He charactor was very direct, yes is yes, no is no. Never sweet talking.... maybe that is the reason why his client was always empty. But actually he is a very good doctor.
I told me what had happend to me and then he started to do the check up. He was very quiet in the check up section. And when he asked me to hold my position so that he could see better in a particular point inside my eyes... then I started to ask.. "is it very serious?" he replied..."hm..." This conversation happened two to four times and the content was just the same.
After the playing around all the funny machines in his clinic, we sat down and talked finally.
"Old problem didnt get worse." He said.
"but Dr., it blacked out...." I said.
"that is because of the old problem." He said.
"So... will I be blind?" I asked
"In 40-50 years maybe." He said
"You have overused your eye." He said.
"So i should quite my job!" I laughed.
"It is too serious to take this action~!" he laughed too.
Then we keep talking and the atmoshpere was more relax. Good to know I still have 40-50 years to see the world. Thanks God! I still have some time left.
When I took the bus back to the office, I was thinking, if I need to have a operation 40-50 years later, my Dr should have retired or died...... then that maybe a problem.
Till now, the black out problem still bothered me a bit. But maybe I need to carry it until I really go bline one day.
"When you cannot fight with it, unite with it." said my director before. It is so ture.